Who is the real man? Who is the real woman?
I would then ask, of all of God’s children and cultures on Earth, who are we to judge this?
I have a cross-cultural marriage, so as science can tell you, it is more challenging than a same culture marriage. This means that this is also going to be an adventure if we choose this way, and life can be quite interesting. I remember when we were newly weds, peanut butter and jelly was a typical lunch in my family and childhood. Once in a while I would serve this in my newlywed home. I remember that my husband didn’t recognize it as a meal, rather more like a dessert. Are there any elements in your home culture that are irrationally causing you to have low self-esteem? If there is, know that it is normal, and it is ok to conclude that through the years, you will not be able to change the ingrained culture of your fellow companions. There has to be some kind of meeting point where you can agree that if once and a while your spouse misses something from their culture, let them have it! We only live once.
Sometimes we can recognize that we can adapt and get to know other cultures quite easily. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown assimilation, but why not share cultures? We live in such a globalized world!
Did you know that only 4% of ENGLISH speakers are NATIVE English speakers. That means that the majority of the people who speak English is because they learned it, it is not their L1. This means that we need to be really respectful if we are native speakers, to all the other cultures. They are trying to learn about your culture through the language. It will take time. There was a study in 2016 that concluded that native English speakers were among some of the worst communicators in the world.
Your home culture will be judged outside of your home and in the classroom. The mixed culture marriage is also going to be similar to an ESL classroom. The self-esteem of the student needs to be protected. According to Dr.Ivers from BYU Idaho, some cultures sometimes don’t allow the people to become who they could be in their full potential because their environment doesn't allow them to be.
Sources;
https://lemongrad.com/english-language-statistics/
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161028-native-english-speakers-are-the-worlds-worst-communicators
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